Evan Hansen, caught in the lie at last; apologizing, “words fail” — “I guess I thought I could be part of this… I never had this kind of thing before… I never had that perfect girl who somehow could see the good part of me.” I never had the dad who stuck it out.. no corny jokes or baseball gloves…. “That’s not a worthy explanation… I know there is none.. nothing can make sense of all these things I’ve done.” Hard to distinguish if Evan is a 9 or 3.. but he’s an assertive type at the bottom of it. “Except sometimes you see everything you wish you had and it’s right there right there right there in front of you. And you want to believe it’s true. So you make it true.” That’s not a passive wishing to belong. He “made it happen” for himself. The getting caught in an extended lie because all I wanted was to be loved. “I’d rather pretend that I ‘m something other than these broken parts. And I don’t have to look at it, and no one has to look at it.” — self-deception; “I never let them see the worst of me.” — image management; and in the most tender moment, “cause what if everyone saw. what if everyone knew? Would they like what they saw? Or would they hate it too?” “Well I just keep on running away from what’s true. All I ever do is run. So how do I step in… step into the sun?”